How to be a good listener
Everyone loves a good listener. But there are more reasons to develop the skill of listening than to win hearts or popularity contests.
Listening heals hurts and builds bridges. It gives us the ability to understand and empathize, to view the world from our own point. It can bring us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. But most importantly, it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave (渴望) most—a sense of worth.
As it turns out, there’s more to good listening than just keeping quiet and allowing someone to speak. Effective listening is actually a combination of two key communication skills: listening and verifying (确认).
Even when we’ve managed to hear a person’s entire message, we often interpret it wrong—according to our own understanding, experience, or prejudice.
As an effective listener, your goal is to hear and absorb what another has to say…in exactly the way they mean it to be understood. Only then can you respond properly.
This is much easier read than done, so here are a few helpful tips:
1. Give the speaker your full attention.
Stop talking and remove all distractions. Turn off the TV, your phone, or computer. Watch your body language. The way you look at the speaker, or the way you stand or sit, makes a huge difference. The right listening body language communicates that we are listening openly and attentively, and puts the other person at ease.
2. Be patient.
Not everyone is a gifted speaker. Some people take longer to find the right word to make a point. Others are too worried to get their message across properly. If necessary, ask the speaker to explain further. It will help him / her speak more exactly and it will help you hear and understand better.
3. Keep your emotions in check.
If what someone is saying creates an emotional response in you, make an extra effort to listen carefully. When we’re angry, frightened or upset, we often miss key parts of what is being said.
4. Hold your fire.
Don’t jump to conclusions immediately. A good listener doesn’t react until comprehension is complete. If you respond in a way that makes the other person defensive, even if you “win” the argument, you may lose something far more valuable.
5. Even if you think you understand. VERIFY.
Never assume you got the message right. Pause, think about what was said, and then ask “Is this what you meant?” or “Am I understanding this right?”
6. Empathize.
Take a moment to stand in the other person’s shoes, to look at the situation from his / her point of view…especially when you’re being told something personal or painful, or something you strongly disagree with. The more shoes you are able to successfully stand in within your life time, the less puzzled you’ll find your life and relationships to be.
of good listening |
hurts. Building . Allowing us toand empathize, and viewing the world in an all-round way. Bringing us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. the people around us feel worthy. |
Components of effective listening |
Good listening consists of two key communication skills: and verifying. |
to be a good listener |
Listening to the speaker. Trying to be a listener. Avoiding being affected by your emotions. Waiting before you take . Verifying. Empathizing. |
任务型阅读(共10小题,每小题1分,满分10分)
Blood donation, also called blood banking, is a wonderful thing to do. It is an easy and direct way to contribute to social work and help the community. It helps to save lives and helps those who are in need of blood due to bad condition or the heavy loss of blood during operations or in accidents.
You are able to give or donate blood every three or four month, and it is a great way to make a huge difference to someone’s life and you can always be proud of it after making valuable contributions to society. Blood donation is not a big problem, but you need to keep a few points in mind.
Before donating blood, make sure that the ferrum (铁) level in your body is high enough and for that you should take a healthy diet. Do not go for blood donation on an empty stomach. You should follow the correct process so that everything goes well. After having a balanced diet you will feel strong and comfortable to donate blood. Afterwards, you will not feel faint or weak.
For required hemoglobin (血红蛋白) in your body, drink lots of juice and other drinks. Fruit juice, such as apple juice is very good for increasing the blood level in your body.
For a good blood flow in your body, drink at least 6-7 glasses of water every day. Completely avoid a day before and after giving blood, taking alcohol (酒). Do not smoke half an hour before giving blood.
When you are going for blood donation, be relaxed, which helps keep the right blood pressure. During the blood donation activity, take a deep breath and try to calm yourself. Don’t join in some other activities.
When you donate blood, you are making the effort to save someone’s life. Blood donation is a very simple and fast process, but you need to take care of yourself after donating blood. Proper care helps to reduce side effects. The following are a few tips that will help you out.
Take a rest for 15 minutes after the donation. It helps you to feel relaxed.
Eat something and drink juice before leaving the blood donation centre. Make sure that you have meals after donating blood. Smoking should be avoided for one hour after the process. Avoid some activities right away, for example, driving.
Finally, be proud of yourself because you have done a great thing in helping to save someone’s life. Blood donation is a very important activity.
Title |
Blood donation — an important activity |
The of blood donation |
• to social work and the community • Helping those people who suffer the loss of • Giving yourself a sense of pride |
the donation |
• Take a healthy for a high ferrum level. • Drink fruit juice for enough hemoglobin. • Drink at least 6-7 glasses of water daily for a good of blood. • taking alcohol and smoking cigarettes. |
During the donation |
• Relax and breathe deeply • Never take in other activities. |
After the donation |
• Take a rest. • Don’t skip . • Don’t smoke until one hour later. • Don’t join in some activities like driving |
Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is very popular among business people who want to improve their careers, but its rules can be applied to any area of life. For example, Covey’s rules can be used to improve relationships between parents and children or to improve the way you manage your time.
Covey begins by discussing habits and effectiveness, and why they are both important to success. According to Covey, for an action to become a habit, you must know what to do and why should do it. However, you also must want to do it. On the other hand, effectiveness means having a balance between success and a good relationship with the people around you. In order to be successful, you must have habits that make you able to deal effectively with others and your own personal life.
Next, Covey introduces the seven habits of highly effective people. The first three habits focus on personal growth. The next three habits are about how to get along with others. The seventh habit shows how to achieve physical, emotional and mental health.
Covey includes exercises to help you analyse your life. He challenges you to decide what you want to contribute to society in your lifetime. He does this by asking you to think about what people to say about you after you die. Your answer to this question will help you make better decisions about how to spend your time. In this way, you can challenge yourself to make your dreams and ambitions come true.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has the potential to really improve your life.
Introduction |
This book can help you improve your career and your relationship and manage your time better. |
For success |
l Habits: you must know what to do and why should do it. You also must want to do it. l .You should achieve a between success and a good relationship with the people around you. |
The seven |
The first three habits focus on personal . The next three habits are about how to get along with others. The seventh habit shows how to achieve physical, emotional and health. |
Exercises |
l They help you your life. l Decide what you want to make in your lifetime. l Challenge yourself toyour dreams and ambitions. |
The book has the potential to really improve your life. |
It is not easy to find true friends. Even if you’ve connected with someone, how do you really know he is a true friend? And often you will find that someone who you thought you could trust may have let you down. There are ways you can know if a friendship is true and how you can hold onto that friend.
Generally speaking, a true friend is someone who will be there for you no matter what happens. They will stand by you through bad and good times. They will accept you for who you are without trying to change you, and they will be there to help you grow in new ways.
A true friend will keep you secrets for you trust him. They will be honest and be someone you can depend on. They will listen and be someone you can talk things over with, even if they may not have advice to share with you.
However, friendship is a two-way street. To find true friends and keep them, you must in turn be the same as well. Be there for them in their hard times and share the good times with them. Be someone your friends can depend on as well and offer them the same thing they give to you. A friendship will fall apart fast if only one person is giving and putting all the effort. If you are the only one making an effort, be honest and it works.
Actually, there will be barriers in the road but that is the test of true friendship. If it can survive those barriers, it will be stronger and better than ever. Just as St Thomas Aquinas put it, “There is nothing on this earth more prized than friendship.”
Find a True Friend |
|
The writer’s () on friends |
●True friends() come by nowadays. ●Those who you regarded as your friends may make you down. |
Characteristics of true friendship |
●A true friend will() you whatever happens. ●A true friend will keep your secrets and be a good() . |
()______ to hold friendship |
●()______ with your friends when they are in trouble. ●Be someone who your friends can() . ●() is the key to keep a friendship if you are the only one making efforts. |
()_________ |
●True friendship can stand up to various() and grow stronger and better. |
阅读下面短文,按照句子结构的语法性和上下文连贯的要求,在空格处填入一个适当的词或使用括号中词语的正确形式填空。
An 8.8magnitude earthquake struck Chile on 27 Feb,2010.More than 300 people are reported ____(kill) in Chile after a magnitude 8.8 earthquake hit the South American nation early Saturday,____(cause)considerable destruction as well,and creating tsunami warnings across the Pacific Ocean.
Rescuers worked frantically for hours to help survivors of the quake ____centered 100 kilometers from the city of Concepcion but caused damage and deaths in several parts of Chile.
Homes,buildings and bridges collapsed or caught fire,cars ____(overturn),and the main international airport had to be shut down because of damage. One survivor said it was terrible. She said she thought she was not ____(scare)of earthquakes but then,she says,it looked as if everything was going to collapse. There were at least eight aftershocks and tidal waves of up ____ two meters that hit Chile’s coast. Residents in lowlying areas and living on islands off the mainland tried to flee ____higher ground. Chile experiences many earthquakes but the early Saturday natural disaster was ____of its most severe (剧烈的). Thorne Lay,a geophysicist at the University of California,Santa Cruz,said it was much stronger than ____one that caused devastation(废墟)in Haiti last month,but probably less ____(destroy),because of where it was centered.
Since it was founded a year ago, the babysitting pool has become increasingly popular in the United States. More and more mothers have joined it and have benefited from it. What attracts them most is the idea that you pay your babysitter not in cash, but in paper cards. When you join the babysitting pool, you are given thirty cards, which are worth 30-minute babysitting time each. For each half an hour while you are gone, the babysitter gets paid one card.
There are rules regulating this service. You should not watch more than three kids at a time including your own. On big holidays, such as Christmas and Thanksgiving, the babysitter should be paid twice as much, which means two cards for every half an hour. When you leave the babysitting pool, you should return all the cards. If you are out of cards, you cannot use money instead. You should have to baby-sit for others to earn enough cards so that you will have them handy when you yourself need a babysitter.
Many mothers think highly of this service. It keeps children in constant touch with one another, and makes life easier for the mothers. Since in most cases, the babysitter is the mother who watches other kids at her own home, it is still possible for her to do her own things while the kids play with each other. In fact most mother babysitters find that their own kids are less of a monster and easier to watch when they are around other playmates. Moreover, since the babysitting pool service does not involve money, it will not be a financial loss to the family.
In the past year, the babysitting pool has helped so many mothers with their work that they all think that it is indeed a good community service worth keeping.
I wonder whether Mike is getting annoyed with me. I had promised to help him his maths in the library this afternoon. just as I was about to start out, Uncle John, had just come back from abroad, came to see me. John has always been a good friend as well
a good uncle. He used to come to see me when I was young, but I had not seen him for ages. had a good chat and had a very nice time together. I tried to call Mike and tell him about the delay, but wasn’t ablereach him since his mobile phone was powered off. When I got to the library, he was nowhere to be seen. He was likely to be very upset, since I should have met him there. I think I’d better apologize to him tomorrow not keeping the appointment. I’d rather tell him the truth than make excuse.
Many of us invest valuable time,energy and money planning our vacations. We do this because we know for sure that going on vacations must be good for us. Research proves this feeling without a doubt. Vacations help us perform better at work, improve our sleep quality and cushion us against depression.
Yet, despite these benefits, many of us return home with a feeling that our last vacation was OK --- but not great. In order to change this, some mistakes should be avoided. A classic one for vacation planners is attempting to maximize value for money by planning trips that have too many components (组成部分).Perhaps you’re planning a trip to Europe, seven cities in 10 days,and you realize it will cost only a little more to add two more destinations to the list. It sounds fine in theory, but hopping from one place to the next hardly gives an opportunity to experience what psychologists call mindfulness(留意) --- time to take in our new surroundings, time to be present and absorb our travel experiences. Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues such as how to find a good flight deal,how to get from A to B,or which destinations to add or subtract from our journey. These issues may seem important, but our psychological state of mind is far more important.
Actually, vacation happiness is based on the following top rules. First, choose your travel companions wisely, because nothing contributes more significantly to a trip than the right companions. Second,don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive so as to keep a positive mood. Third, shop wisely, for meaningful experiences provide more long-term happiness than physical possessions.
请认真阅读下列短文,并根据所读内容在文章后表格中的空格里填入一个最恰当的单词。注意:每个空格只填1个单词。请将答案写在答题纸上相应题号的横线上。
Disability aids are vital to those who suffer problems with executing work with two hands.These are people who have been disabled due to some major sickness or some other problems.In order to help them carry on their work in the normal way, disability aids are manufactured.This helps them make their life a lot easier than what it would have been without these aids.The kind of disability aids that an individual might require depends on the person only.It is the problem that a person faces that decides the aids that he/she will use for carrying out their respective jobs.The following is the list of a few disability aids that come of significant use.
The first and foremost aid is the stocking aid, aiding the individuals suffering from the problem of bending down to reach the foot and wear their own socks.These stocking aids have a gutter(槽) that is made up of plastic material.These gutters are shaped in a certain way along with the attachment of cotton tapes in it.The sock is then put over the gutter.The foot is placed inside the gutter.The cotton tapes help in pulling the socks up the leg and subsequently the sock.In this manner, the sock is worn by a person who has problems wearing it by bending one’s back and reaching the foot.
There are openers that help the people who have problems with their hands or wrists to open bottles of ketchup, jam and other such bottles and jars that necessitates the use of hands and fingers.
The third type of disability aids that comes to our minds are lifts.Now what are lifts? Lifts are certain machines that help in lifting people from specific areas, such as a bathtub or a set of stairs.These lifts are of varied types and come for numerous applications.It is for the individual to decide the type that he/she requires to use.
For people, who have problems in balancing their upper bodies in a stable manner, there is something known as grab rails.These grab rails are installed for those who have mobility problems in their upper bodies.These rails come in varieties of shapes, sizes and angles.These grab rails are available to home users as well, in their different variations.One can purchase and fix one to their homes according to one’s specificities.These grab rails require the act of screwing and drilling in order to fix them to their appropriate place.The prices of these rails also vary according to the variation of their shapes and sizes.
A portable book holder is a much sought-after disability aid.It can be used by anybody for that matter, not just the disabled.These portable book holders are light-weight and can be easily moved about.These holders relieve the strains on one’s hands, necks and shoulders that might occur due to the handling of a book.The holders are provided with extended legs that help in placing the reading material at suitable distance.
Thus with the help of these disability aids, the old and disabled people can make their lives much more convenient and comfortable that would otherwise have been a cumbersome and complex one.
Disability Aids
Theme |
Disability aids are important to people with disabilities from some major sickness or other problems. |
|
Different of aids |
Stocking aids |
They can be used to help individuals whose bodies are not enough to reach their feet to put on socks by themselves. |
Openers |
They can be used to aid the disabled to open the bottles when the use of hands or wrists is a |
|
Lifts |
They can be used to lift people from specific areas.They come in of types and are numerously. |
|
Grab rails |
They can be used to keep their balance in a stable manner after proper |
|
Book holders |
They can be used to help with the of strains on one’s hands necks and shoulders when reading. |
|
these disability aids,the life of the old and disabled would become cumbersome and complex |
It is not easy to find true friends.Even if you’ve connected with someone,how do you really know he is a true friend?And often you will find that someone who you thought you could trust may have let you down.There are ways you can know if a friendship is true and how you can hold onto that friend.
Generally speaking,a true friend is someone who will be there for you no matter what happens.They will stand by you through bad and good times.They will accept you for who you are without trying to change you,and they will be there to help you grow in new ways.
A true friend will keep you secrets for you trust him.They will be honest and be someone you can depend on.They will listen and be someone you can talk things over with,even if they may not have advice to share with you.
However,friendship is a two-way street.To find true friends and keep them,you must in turn be the same as well.Be there for them in their hard times and share the good times with them.Be someone your friends can depend on as well and offer them the same thing they give to you.A friendship will fall apart fast if only one person is giving and putting all the effort.If you are the only one making an effort,be honest and it works.
Actually,there will be barriers in the road but that is the test of true friendship.If it can survive those barriers,it will be stronger and better than ever.Just as St Thomas Aquinas put it,“There is nothing on this earth more prized than friendship.”
Things You Should Insist on No Matter What People Say
Life can get pretty crazy at times. Happiness is dependent upon ourselves,and there are some things in life you should always insist on doing,no matter what others have to say about it.Here is a list of some things you should always do.
1.Learn from your mistakes
No matter what people say,you will make mistakes in your life.Life is a learning process in itself.Some people will make you feel bad about your mistakes,or insult you for making them. Accept your mistakes fully and really figure out what went wrong.
2.Embrace change and creativity
A popular proverb is,“You cannot solve a problem in the same state of consciences that created it.” Change and creativity are vital in today’s world.Things are always changing,so why should we be any different?
3.Appreciate what you have
This can take away from our happiness.Sometimes you just need to sit back and be happy about where your life is right now,and what you have to show for it. Sure people might tell you it’s not good enough,but don’t listen to them.It is good enough,and it gives you a sense of pride when you can enjoy the things you already have in life.
4.Listen to your heart
Sometimes you just need to follow your instincts and do what your heart tells you. There are some situations,like relationships,that rely more on your heart than on your head.People will surely tell you differently,but you should always insist on listening to what you want and feel. Again,you are the one who lives with your choices,and you are the one that has to live with the“what ifs.”
Chinese parents are very generous when it comes to educating their children. Not caring about the money, parents often send their children to the best schools or even abroad to England, the US or Australia. They also want their children to take extra-course activities where they will either learn a musical instrument or ballet, or other classes that will give them a head start in life. The Chinese believe that the more expensive an education is, the better it is. So parents will spend unreasonable amount of money on education. Even poor couples will buy computers for their sons or daughters.
However, what most parents fail to see is that the best education they can give to their children is usually very cheap.
Parents can see that their children’s skills vary, skilled in some areas while poor in others. What most parents fail to realize though, is that today’s children lack self-respect and self-confidence.
The reasons are that parents are only educating their children on how to take multiple-choice tests and how to study well, but parents are not teaching them the most important skills: they need to be confident, happy and clever.
Parents can achieve this by teaching practical skills like cooking, sewing and doing other housework.
Teaching a child to cook will improve many of the skills that he will need later in life. Cooking demands patience and time. It is an enjoyable but difficult experience. A good cook always tries to improve his cooking, so he will learn to work hard and gradually finish his job successfully. His result, a well-cooked dinner, will give him much satisfaction and a lot of confidence. These activities are not only teaching a child to work, but rather to think, and to use his mind. And that is more important.
Maybe you are an average student. You probably think you will never be a top student. This is not necessarily so, however. Anyone can become a better student if he or she wants to. Here’s how.
1).Plan your time carefully. When you plan your week, you should make a list of things that you have to do. After making this list, you should make a schedule of your time. Don’t forget to set aside enough time for entertainment. A weekly schedule may not solve all your problems, but it will force you to realize what is happening to your time.
2).Find a good place of to study. Look around the house for a good study area. Keep this space, which may be a desk or simply a corner of your room, free of everything but study materials. No games, radios, or television! When you sit down to study, concentrate on the subject.
3) Make good use of your time in class. Listen to everything the teachers say. Really listening in class means less work later. Taking notes will help you remember what the teacher says.
4). Study regularly. When you get home from school, go over your notes. Review the important points that your teacher mentioned in class. If you know what your teacher is going to discuss the next day, read that material. This will help you understand the next class. If you do these things regularly, the material will become more meaningful, and you will remember it longer.
5). Develop a good attitude about tests. The purpose of a test is to show what you have learned about a subject. They help you remember your new knowledge. The world won’t end if you don’t pass a test, so don’t be over worried.
There are other methods that might help you with your studying. You will probably discover many others after you have tried these.
How to become a better student
General methods |
How to |
Advantages |
Plan your time carefully |
Make a list |
Force you to realize is happening to your time |
Make a |
||
Find a good place to study |
Free of everything but Study |
You can on the subject |
Make good use of your time in class |
Listen to everything the teachers say |
Really listening in class means work later. |
Taking |
||
Study regularly |
your notes |
Help you it better, remember it longer |
Read the new material |
||
Develop a good attitude about test |
Don’t be worried |
Remember your new |
(共10小题;每小题1.5分,满分15分)
阅读下面材料,在空白处填入适当的内容(不多于3个单词)或括号内单词的正确形式。
Smith: Mary, have you got the result of the exam?
Mary: No. How is it?
Smith: Terrible. It seems that only half of the students passed the final exam.
Mary: Really? The exam _ been very difficultthis time.
Smith: Well, I’m really (surprise) too. There are many students who definitely didn’t fail. According to Carl, there are eight boys in his class who failed, (include) himself and Gorge.
Mary: Oh! Gorge is of the top students in the college. What about his sister, Catherine? Did she pass?
Smith: Oh, yes. It seems that she (get) good marks.
Mary: That’s (absolute) unbelievable! Gorge was much better student than his sister, and has been working so hard for the last few months.
Smith: It seems (fair), doesn’t it? But, from I’ve heard, perhaps he worked too hard. He was ill during the week of the exam.
Mary: Oh, I see. These things happen, sometimes. I suppose the teacher will take his illness into account and give him a pass.
Smith: Well, there is a rumor going around the head of the Department is leaving.
Mary: Because of the bad result, you mean?
Smith: Well, I suppose so. I’m not sure. Maybe Mr. Dustin is going to be the new Department Head.
请认真阅读下列短文,并根据所读内容在文章后表格中的空格里填入一个最恰当的单词。注意:每个空格只填1个单词。请将答案写在答题卡上相应题号的横线上。
Stress Management—Learn to Relax With Self Hypnosis
Self hypnosis(自我催眠法)is one of the best known and most effective techniques for relieving stress and anxiety. It’s easy to learn and you can do it anywhere. This is a simple exercise that you can do at any time of the day. All you need is 10 minutes to yourself.
The first few times you practice the following technique, it’s a good idea to make sure that you’re relatively calm to begin with. After you’ve practiced several times, you’ll be able to achieve the same deep relaxation, even if you are feeling stressed or tense.
Get into a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. Then simply close your eyes taking a few moments to unwind(放松).
Now take a long slow deep breath, hold it as long as you comfortably can, then slowly release the breath allowing your whole body to relax with the air breathed out. Repeat this more than twice and notice how you relax even further with each breath.
Now, imagine our standing at the top of a set of 20 steps and each step will take you further into a deep state of relaxation. Then, as you count backwards from 20 to 1, imagine that you are moving down to the next step. With each number, notice that you are going deeper, becoming even more relaxed , feeling calm and at ease.
This is the most important step! Take some time to enjoy this relaxed state. Some people find that by this time their breathing has become slower and their body may feel either very heavy or every light or it may even feel like it’s tingling. It’s different for everyone so just pay attention to any changes and allow yourself to enjoy that state of deep relaxation.
Then when you are ready to awaken, count up from one to five, with each number just instruct yourself to become more alert, more awake, feeling more refreshed. When you reach five, open your eyes and remember to give your arms and legs a little shake to reorient(适应)yourself.
While you’re experiencing the benefits, you’ll find that you become more and more relaxed each time you go through the exercise. To get the most of this technique it’s recommended that you practice at least once each day for 21 days. Then use it as often as you like and whenever you’re feeling stressed or anxious.
Learn to Relax With Self Hypnosis
If you want to stress and anxiety, self hypnosis is known to be one of most effective ways. |
||
Before practicing |
While practising |
After practising |
Make sure you are calm first. |
●Get into a comfortable position, sitting or lying down, and then close your eyes to relax a few moments. ●Breathe slowly but as long as you can and then breathe out with your whole body relaxed. Repeat this more than . ●Imagine at the top of 20 steps and then counting backwards from 20 to 1. Imagine down step by step. ●Take some time to focus any changes and enjoy the state of deep . |
your arms and legs a little to adjust yourself. |
The of practicing is that you will become more and more relaxed. |