Wednesday night 7: 30 p. m. at the Chuckle Bar!
Starring Rodney Mann, Pedro Mendez and Larry Dunne!
Next Wednesday night at the Chuckle Bar we have an all star line up of comedians. Three of the world’s best known comedians are coming together for one night only. Book your tickets by calling 1 900 555 6565 or be at the door early to buy them before the show begins.
Rodney Mann
Mann is famous for his jokes about average people and their life. Many of his jokes are social commentaries on everyday things. He loves to set his jokes in New York, the city where he grew up.
Mann’s most famous opening line, “You know, I was walking down the street the other day. . . ” is known all over the world. He is just back from his tour of Europe, and is appearing at the Chuckle Bar for one night only. Don’t miss it!
Pedro Mendez
Pedro Mendez grew up on a small farm in Panama. He moved to the USA with his parents when he was ten, and has been telling jokes and making people laugh ever since. Recently, the 30 year old comedian began to film a new TV programme that he will both act in and produce.
Experience Mendez’s unique Latin style humor for yourself. His routine, “I had a farm in Panama”, is a classic that should not be missed.
Larry Dunne
Larry Dunne has been making people laugh all over the world for more than five decades. He began his career by performing for soldiers in Hawaii in the 1950s, and since then, he has been the host of his own late night TV programme. The videos and DVDs of his performances are the best sellers of any stand-up acts out there. As an old style comedian, Dunne uses lots of singing and dancing as part of his routines.
Dunne is best known for his jokes about life in the USA and how it has changed during his lifetime. This will be Dunne’s last show before he retires, so don’t miss it.
Call 1-900-555-6565 to reserve your tickets or be at the door by 7: 00 p. m. .Rodney Mann grew up in ______ .
| A．the USA | B．Panama |
| C．Hawaii | D．New York |
The show begins ______.
| A．at lunch time | B．at 7: 30 p. m. |
| C．at 7: 00 p.m | D．at 7: 30 a. m. |
Pedro Mendez has lived in ______ for ______ years.
| A．the USA; thirty-four | B．the USA; |
| C．Panama; thirty-four | D．the USA; twenty |
The oldest comedian is probably ______, and has been performing ______.
| A．Rodney Mann; for over fifty years |
| B．Larry Dunne; since the 1970s |
| C．Larry Dunne; for over fifty years |
| D．Pedro Mendez; for over fifty years |
The comedy show will have ______ comedians on ______ night.
| A．three; one | B．three; two |
| C．one; three | D．one; two |
These days, it seems that almost all of us are too serious．My older daughter often says to me, “Daddy, you’ve got that serious look again．” Even those of us who are committed to non-seriousness are probably too serious．People are frustrated and anxious about almost everything -- being five minutes late, witnessing someone look at us wrong or say the wrong thing, paying bills, waiting in line, overcooking a meal, making an honest mistake -- you name it, and we all lose perspective（理性判断） over it．
The root of being anxious is our unwillingness to accept life as being different, in any way, from our expectation．Very simply, we want things to be a certain way but they’re not a certain way．Life is simply as it is．Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: “Our limited perspective, our hopes and fears become our measure of life, and when circumstances don’t fit our ideas, they become our difficulties．” We spend our lives wanting things, people, and events to be just as we want them to be -- and when they’re not, we fight and we suffer．
The first step in recovering from over-seriousness is to admit that you have a problem．You have to want to change, to become more easygoing．You have to see that your own anxiety is largely of your own creation -- it’s made up of the way you have set up your life and the way you react to it．
The next step is to understand the link between your expectations and your frustration level．Whenever you expect something to be a certain way and it isn’t, you’re upset and you suffer．On the other hand, when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you’re free．
A good exercise is to try to approach a single day without expectation．Don’t expect people to be friendly．When they’re not, you won’t be surprised or bothered; if they are, you’ll be delighted．Don’t expect your day to be problem-free．Instead, as problems come up, say to yourself, “Ah, another barrier to overcome．” As you approach your day in this manner you’ll notice how elegant life can be．Rather than fighting against life, you’ll be dancing with it．Pretty soon, with practice, you’ll lighten up your entire life．And when you lighten up, life is a lot more fun．Why are people easily frustrated and anxious these days?
| A．Because their children are disappointing． |
| B．Because they have to look serious in public． |
| C．Because life is becoming a greater burden． |
| D．Because people have lost sensible judgment． |
According to Benjamin Franklin, what was the cause of over-seriousness?
| A．The fact that people’s perspective, hopes and fears are limited． |
| B．The fact that people can’t change life itself． |
| C．The fact that things fail to meet people’s expectations． |
| D．The fact that circumstances turn out to be difficult． |
In what pattern is this article developed?
| A．Phenomenon, causes and solutions． |
| B．Problems, explanation and conclusion． |
| C．Examples, causes and arguments． |
| D．Phenomenon, analysis and conclusion． |
What might be the best title for the passage?
| A．People seem to be too serious |
| B．Life is simply as it is |
| C．Hopes can turn into difficulties |
| D．A good exercise removes over-seriousness |
Three Japanese tourists taking a holiday in Australia got stuck when their GPS told them they could drive from the mainland to an island, failing to mention the 15 kilometres of water and mud in between.
As they drove their hired car from Moreton Bay in Queensland to nearby North Stradbroke Island, they started to notice the firm gravel（沙石）surface they were driving on giving way to the renowned bay mud．However, being confident that their GPS would direct them to a road soon, they decided to plough on, managing to travel around 500 metres before their Hyundai Getz（现代汽车）was up to its axles tires in mud．To make matters worse, the tide started to come in and soon forced them to seek help and abandon the vehicle．Just four hours later the car was trapped in two metres of water —— to the great amusement of onlookers on the shore and passengers on passing boats and ferries.
Yuzu Noda, 21, said she was listening to the GPS and “it told us we could drive down there．It kept saying it would navigate us to a road．But we got stuck…there’s lots of mud.” She and her travel companions Tomonari Saeki, 22, and Keita Osada, 21, instead had to give up their plans for a day trip to the island and headed back to the Gold Coast of a lift from the RACQ tow truck（吊车）driver who was called to the trapped car．No such luck for the hired car though – after assessing the situation, no attempt was made to recover it．The students from Tokyo, who are due to return home tomorrow, said the experience would not put them off returning to Australia for another visit．“We want to come back to Australia again．Everyone is very nice, even today.” Ms Yuzu said.
Remaining excited, Mr. Tomonari joked that the car may have got stuck because it was built in Korea．“Maybe if it was Japanese it would be okay,” he said．He added, “It has rained every day on our six day holiday．Hopefully next time we come back it will be sunny.” The car was covered by insurance, but the tourists will have to pay up to about $1500 in extra charges.The three Japanese tourists got stuck because ______.
| A．there was no way to the island |
| B．their GPS was broken during their journey |
| C．their GPS had given the wrong information |
| D．their car was made in Korea instead of Japan |
They didn’t abandon their car until ______.
| A．there came the tide |
| B．they got stuck in the mud |
| C．some onlookers went to save them |
| D．they managed to travel around 500 metres |
How did these Japanese students get back?
| A．They had to walk back to their living place. |
| B．They had to repair their GPS and drove back. |
| C．They had to take a lift from the tow truck driver. |
| D．They had to turn to passengers on passing boats and ferries. |
According to the passage, which of the following is true?
| A．The car was left where it was trapped. |
| B．The passengers saved these students in the end. |
| C．Mr. Tomonari got very frustrated after the journey. |
| D．The car was covered by insurance so they didn’t have to pay any money. |
Dear Reader,
I receive many letters from children and can’t answer them all—there wouldn’t be time enough in a day．That is why I am sending you this printed reply to your letter．I’ll try to answer some of the questions that are commonly asked.
Where did I get the idea for Stuart Little and for Charlotte’s Web? Well, many years ago I went to bed one night in a railway sleeping car, and during the night I dreamed about a tiny boy who acted rather like a mouse．That’s how the story of Stuart Little got started.
As for Charlotte’s Web, I like animals and my barn（谷仓）is a very pleasant place to be, at all hours．One day when I was on my way to feed the pig, I began feeling sorry for the pig because, like most pigs, he was doomed to die．This made me sad．So I started thinking of ways to save a pig’s life．I had been watching a big grey spider at her work and was impressed by how clever she was at weaving．Gradually I worked the spider into the story that you know, a story of friendship and salvation（拯救）on a farm．Three years after I started writing it, it was published．（I am not a fast worker, as you can see.）
Sometimes I’m asked how old I was when I started to write, and what made me want to write．I started early—as soon as I could spell．In fact, I can’t remember any time in my life when I wasn’t busy writing．I don’t know what caused me to do it, or why I enjoyed it, but I think children often find pleasure and satisfaction in trying to set their thoughts down on paper, either in words or in pictures．I was no good at drawing, so I used words instead．As I grew older, I found that writing can be a way of earning a living.
Some of my readers want me to visit their school．Some want me to send a picture, or an autograph, or a book．And some ask questions about my family and my animals and my pets．Much as I’d like to, I can’t go visiting．I can’t send books, either—you can find them in a bookstore or a library．Many children assume that a writer owns （or even makes） his own books．This is not true—books are made by the publisher．If a writer wants a copy, he must buy it．That’s why I can’t send books．And I do not send signatures—I leave that to the movie stars．I live most of the year in the country, in New England．From our windows we can look out at the sea and the mountains．I live near my married son and three grandchildren.
Are my stories true, you ask? No, they are imaginary tales, containing fantastic characters and events．In real life, a family doesn’t have a child who looks like a mouse; in real life, a spider doesn’t spin words in her web．In real life, a swan doesn’t blow a trumpet．But real life is only one kind of life—there is also the life of the imagination．And although my stories are imaginary, I like to think that there is some truth in them, too—truth about the way people and animals feel and think and act.
Yours sincerely：E.B．WhiteThe author wrote the letter because _________.
| A．he is not a fast worker |
| B．he was invited to answer the questions |
| C．he didn’t have enough time to answer all the letters |
| D．he felt sorry for not being able to send books to his readers |
What probably caused the writer to get interested in writing children’s book?
| A．Writing can be a way to earn his living． |
| B．The fact that he was not good at drawing． |
| C．His mother influence on his childhood. |
| D．The instinct of children. |
From Para.5, we can learn that ＿＿＿＿.
| A．many famous people like to visit schools |
| B．movie stars will send autographs to readers |
| C．many people think authors have copies of their own books |
| D．the author lives with his married son and three grandchildren |
In the last paragraph, the author is trying to tell us ____ .
| A．we only have one kind of life |
| B．there is no truth in imaginary tales |
| C．imaginary tales are based on our true life |
| D．fantastic characters and events only exist in imaginary tales |
From the health point of view we are living in an amazing age. We are free from many of the most dangerous diseases. A large number of once deadly illnesses can now be cured by modern medicine. It is almost certain that one day medicines will be found for the most stubborn remaining diseases. The expectation of life has increased greatly. But though the possibility of living a long and happy life is greater than ever before, every day we witness the unbelievable killing of men, women and children on the roads. Man VS the motor car! It is a never-ending battle which man is losing. Thousands of people the world over are killed or horribly killed each year and we are quietly sitting back and letting it happen.
It has been rightly said that when a man is sitting behind a steering wheel (方向盘), his car becomes the extension of his personality. There is no doubt that the motor-car often brings out a man’s very worst qualities. People who are normally quiet and pleasant may become unrecognizable when they are behind a steering-wheel. They say, they are ill-mannered and aggressive, willful as two-year-olds and completely selfish. All their hidden angers and disappointments seem to be brought to the surface by the act of driving.
The surprising thing is that society smiles so gently on the motorist and seems to forgive his behavior. Everything is done for his convenience. Cities are allowed to become almost uninhabitable because of heavy traffic; towns are made ugly by huge car parks; the countryside is ruined by road networks; and the deaths become nothing more than a number every year, to be easily forgotten.
It is high time a world rule was created to reduce this senseless waste of human life. With regard to driving, the laws of some countries are unbelievably lax (不严格) and even the strictest are not strict enough. A rule which was universally accepted could only have an obviously beneficial effect on the accident rate. Here are a few examples of some of the things that might be done. The driving test should be standardized and made far more difficult than it is; all the drivers should be made to take a test every three years or so; the age at which young people are allowed to drive any vehicle should be raised to at least 21; all vehicles should be put through strict tests for safety each year. Even the smallest amount of alcohol in the blood can damage a person’s driving ability. Present drinking and driving laws ( where they exist) should be made much stricter. Speed limits should be required on all roads. Governments should lay down safety specifications for car factories, as has been done in the USA. All advertising stressing power and performance should be banned. These measures may not sound good enough. But surely nothing should be considered as too severe if it results in reducing the number of deaths. After all, the world is for human beings, not motor-cars.What is the main idea of this passage?
| A．Traffic accidents are mainly caused by motorists. |
| B．Thousands of people the world over are killed each year. |
| C．The laws of some countries about driving are not lax. |
| D．Only stricter traffic laws can prevent accidents. |
What does the author think of society toward motorists?
| A．Society laughs at the motorists. |
| B．Huge car parks are built in the cities and towns. |
| C．Victims of accidents are nothing. |
| D．Society forgives their rude driving. |
What does the author mean by saying “ his car becomes the extension of his personality” in Paragraph 2?
| A．Driving can show his hidden qualities. |
| B．Driving can show the other part of his personality. |
| C．Driving can bring out his characters. |
| D．Driving can represent his manners. |
Which of the followings is NOT mentioned as a way against traffic accidents?
| A．Build more highways. |
| B．Stricter drivin tests. |
| C．Test drivers every three years. |
| D．Raise age limit and lay down safety specifications. |
It was shortly before midnight, and Dr Patricia was getting ready for bed. The phone rang on the end of the line was a woman about to break a promise.
The woman was her mother’s neighbour. Flora Harris had made the neighbour swear she wouldn’t tell her daughter she’d a heart attack and was in the hospital, for fear her daughter would worry. The neighbour wisely decided to disobey orders.
Harris desperately wanted to get to the hospital immediately, but she couldn’t. She lives in Washington, D.C, and her mother lives in California.
For the past year a half, Harris has gone to Los Angeles every other month to take care of her mother. Flora Harris takes care of her husband, James, who’s 91 and has Alzheimer’s disease. They live in their own home, and a caregiver comes to help them a few hours a day.
Harris is one of many Americans facing the heartache of how to take care of aging parents from afar. She’s often worried, not to mention extremely busy with a demanding job, two teenage daughters and the frequent trips to California.
In some ways, Harris is lucky. She has the resources to make the trips to Los Angeles. Plus, Harris is a doctor who treats the elderly.
“ But it’s still tough,” she said. “ I can foresee what the next few years are going to look like, and it’s not a pretty picture. My father’s going to need diapers (尿布). There will come a time when he won’ t recognize me and he’s easily excited. I worry he’s going to be violent and hurt my mother.”
So what do you do when you live a continent away for your aging, sick parents? There are no magic answers. You can hire someone to help, but you can’t outsource it completely.Why was the woman thought to have broken a promise?
| A．She failed to take care of Flora. |
| B．She was not supposed to call Harris at midnight. |
| C．She couldn’t go to hospital on time. |
| D．She told Harris about her mother’s illness. |
What can we learn about Patricia Harris from the passage?
| A．She thinks it harder to look after her parents the next few years. |
| B．He parents cannot take themselves at all. |
| C．She cannot do a demanding job. |
| D．She cannot afford to go to California often. |
What does the underlined word “ outsource” in the last paragraph mean?
| A．Arrange somebody outside to do a job. |
| B．Work something out by oneself. |
| C．Speak something out for help. |
| D．Understand something. |
What’s the main idea of this passage?
| A．Aging people in the USA are increasing. |
| B．The rate of heart disease is high in America. |
| C．It is difficult to tend aging parents from afar. |
| D．Harris advises on tending aging parents from afar. |
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