C
When someone gives you advice, listen without judgment, try to find value in what you’re hearing, and say: “Thank you”. This wise advice is easy to understand yet hard to practice. I’ll give you an example from my life when I totally blew it in terms of practicing what I teach.
In my work I travel constantly. I always put off going to the airport until the last second. My wife, Lyda, was sitting next to me in the front seat. I was racing along and not paying much attention. Lyda cried out! “Look out! There is a red light up ahead. ”
Being a trained behavioral science professional—who teaches others the value of encouraging advice—I naturally screamed at her: “I know there is a red light up ahead! Don’t you think I can see?” When we arrived at the airport, Lyda didn’t speak to me. I wondered why she seemed mad at me.
During the flight to New York, I did a cost-benefit analysis. I asked myself: “What was the cost of just listening when Lyda called out the warning? Zero. ” I then reasoned: “What was the potential benefit? What could have been saved?” Several potential benefits came to mind, including her life, my life, and the lives of other people.
|
I landed in New York feeling ashamed of myself. I immediately called Lyda and told her my cost-benefit story. I convinced her: “The next time you help me with my driving, I am just going to say, ‘Thank you. ’”
A few months passed, and I had long forgotten the incident. Again, I was racing off to the airport, when Lyda cried out: “Look out for the red light!” I was embarrassed, and then shouted: “Thank you!”
粤公网安备 44130202000953号