No marriage is a breeze by any stretch of the imagination. When you take two people and make them live under one roof, there are going to be problems. Make one of them a man and the other a woman, and you can multiply those problems by ten!
When trouble appears in a marriage, most people choose to simply walk away from the marriage. Because not many people have the qualities—selflessness, responsibility, commitment, loyalty—that a marriage requires any more. So you should first be congratulated on trying to do something to save your marriage, like I did.
I believe my story is similar to yours. My husband’s interest and attraction in me had gradually gone away. I sensed a divorce coming—but still, when I heard it, I was completely shocked and I was doubtful about it. I immediately went wild with desperation since I didn’t want a divorce. I did my fair share of the wrong things—such as trying to talk him out of it, crying and then begging. Of course, those didn’t work.
But today I am still with my husband and things couldn’t be better! So what made this change?
It was a realization on my part that I wasn’t in the best state of mind to really come up with ways which really save a marriage. When you are desperate, your judgment is not clear and your mind is filled with intense emotions, which replace your rationality (合理性) and force you into doing the wrong things.
To be able to change my fortunes, I changed my mindset (心态) first. And this is what you have to do. You have to quit the begging, cry or apologize mindset, and enter the careful, calm and considerate mindset. This is what saves marriages—not a “quick fix” that will repair everything overnight!
How do most people deal with the problems in a marriage at the beginning?
(no more than 7 words)
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List some good qualities that a good couple should have.
(no more than 6 words)
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Why did the author go wild with desperation when she sensed a divorce coming?
(no more than 7 words)
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What is the author’s secret of saving her marriage?
(no more than 10 words)
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