I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our 36 , and especially if it’s given from the 37 . When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but 38 them. Just take them 39 . Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than 40 it.
One of my patients told me that when she 41 to tell her story, people often 42 to tell her that they had once had something just like that happen to her. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves. 43 she stopped talking to most people. It was just too 44 . We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the 45 of attention to ourselves. But when we listen, they know we care.
I have ever learned to 46 to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues(纸巾) 47 I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them 48 , to take them out of their 49 of sadness and pain. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there 50 them.
This 51 thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been 52 since I was very young at school. I thought people listened only because they were too 53 to speak or did not know the answer. A loving silence often has far more 54 to connect than the most well-intentioned 55 .
A.introduction B.instruction C.attention D.relaxation
A.head B.memory C.mind D.heart
A.talk to B.listen to C.object to D.stick to
A.in B.up C.off D.away
A.denying B.remembering C.questioning D.understanding
A.managed B.tried C.hoped D.expected
A.encouraged B.interrupted C.discouraged D.urged
A.Eventually B.Immediately C.Completely D.Especially
A.impolite B.meaningless C.lonely D.selfish
A.middle B.focus C.center D.choice
A.respond B.compare C.link D.regret
A.unless B.if C.until D.when
A.down B.away C.in D.off
A.experiment B.mixture C.judgment D.experience
A.with B.against C.for D.among
A.complex B.simple C.complicated D.single
A.mentioned B.published C.taught D.proved
A.shy B.greedy C.active D.proud
A.strength B.energy C.power D.force
A.gestures B.praise C.criticism D.words