Most nights I lie in bed, ready for an escape from myself, yet a streaming video of everything I ate, how I exercised, the activities of the day won’t stop playing in my mind.
I pause. I breathe. I try to relax once again, but it doesn’t work.
When I’m not exercising — even if I’ve already exercised that day — I’m consumed with anxiety about my next workout. Will something come up and make me miss the gym? What about holidays when the gym is closed?
Exercise has become a disease; it even disguises (伪装,假装) itself as the cure. If I don’t have it as an escape, then what’s left to hold me together? Working out feels like the only way to calm myself, but as soon as I leave the gym or finish a walk, the whole cycle starts over again.
As you might have guessed by now, I suffer from depression and OCD (强迫症). I’m a highly-educated adult woman who knows the risks of this behavior, and yet I can’t stop.
As a society, we’re told over and over that it’s important to exercise. That’s what makes it so easy to keep this addiction a secret; it’s not as obvious as lighting up a cigarette. You can continue to feed your addiction under the guise that you’re just being “healthy”. I not only have to fight the nonstop thoughts in my head but also the “more exercise is better” messages I receive from the media every day.
For me, exercise has become a drug, which is a way to numb the pain I might feel. I wonder what it would be like to “have the problem” of not wanting to go to the gym. It still feels very far away.
Yet I know I can be stronger than this. I can break the cycle I’m in. I can tell my story so as to give up a piece of the secrecy that keeps me sick.
Because no, you don’t want my problem. And finally, neither do I.
When the author goes to bed, she___________.
A.can’t breathe normally | B.can’t fall asleep |
C.always feels hungry | D.always feels tired |
The underlined word “it” in paragraph 4 probably refers to ___________.
A.the gym | B.disease | C.exercise | D.the cure |
What is special about the addition to exercise?
A.It is popular among highly-educated people. |
B.It is widely reported by the mass media. |
C.It does little harm to health. |
D.it is not easily discovered. |
We know from the text that the author ____________.
A.is emotionless |
B.lives far away from the gym |
C.is seriously ill |
D.has difficulty in keeping secrets |