Some people make you feel comfortable when they are around. You spend an hour with them and feel as if you have known them half your life. These people have something in common. And once we know what it is, we can try to do it ourselves.
How is it done? Here are several skills that good talkers have. If you follow the skills, they’ll help you put people at their ease, and make friends with them quickly.
First of all, good talkers ask questions. Almost anyone, no matter how shy he is, will answer a question. One well-known businesswoman says, “At business lunches, I always ask people what they did that morning. It’s a common question, but it will get things going.” From there you can move on to other matters—sometimes to really personal questions. And how he answers will let you know how far you can go.
Second, once good talkers have asked questions, they listen to the answers. This point seems clear, but it isn’t. Your questions should have a point and help to tell what sort of person you are talking to. And to find out, you really have to listen carefully and attentively.
Real listening at least means some things. First it means not to change the subject of conversation. If someone sticks to one topic, you can take it as a fact that he’s really interested in it. Real listening also means not just listening to words, but to tones of voice. If the voice sounds dull, then, it’s time for you to change the subject.
Finally, good talkers know well how to deal with the occasion of parting. If you’re saying good-bye, you may give him a firm handshake and say, “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you.” If you want to see that person again, don’t keep it a secret. Let people know what you feel, and they may walk away feeling as if they’ve known you half their life.Asking questions might be a quite good and suitable way _______.
| A．for you to make more and more new friends |
| B．to begin your business talks |
| C．to get the conversation going smoothly |
| D．for you to make a deep and lasting impression on others |
After having asked somebody a question, it’ll be polite of you to _______.
| A．make clear what kind of person he is |
| B．listen to his reply attentively |
| C．wait quietly and patiently for his answer |
| D．go on asking him more questions |
Generally speaking, good talkers are persons who _______.
| A．are good at making any topic interesting |
| B．never talk too much or too little |
| C．always speak in a gentle way |
| D．know how and when they should change the topic of the talk |
If you really take delight in meeting someone again, _______.
| A．you may take him as your lifelong trustworthy friend |
| B．it seems necessary for you to let him know it |
| C．it’s proper for you to give him a second handshake |
| D．it’ll be helpful for you to have further understanding of him |
It was a lovely day at the park and Stella Bianchi was enjoying the sunshine with her two children when a young boy, aged about four, approached her two-year-old son and pushed him to the ground.
“I’d watched him for a little while and my son was the fourth or fifth child he’d pushed,” she says. “I went over to them, picked up my son, turned to the boy and said, firmly, ‘No, we don’t push.’” What happened next was unexpected.
“The boy’s mother ran toward me from across the park,” Stella says, “I thought she was coming over to apologize, but instead she started shouting at me for blaming her child. All I did was let him know his behavior was unacceptable. Was I supposed to sit back while her kid did whatever he wanted and hurt other children?”
Getting your own children to play nice is difficult enough. Dealing with other people’s children has become a hidden danger.
In my house, jumping on the sofa is not allowed. In my sister’s house it’s encouraged. I find myself saying “no” a lot when her kids are over at mine. That’s OK between sisters but becomes dangerous when you’re talking to the children of friends or acquaintances.
“Kids aren’t all raised the same,” agrees Professor Naomi White of Monash University.” But there is still an idea that they’re the property of the parent. We see our children as a mirror of ourselves, so if you’re saying that my child is behaving improperly, then that’s somehow a criticism(批评) of me.”
In those situations, it’s difficult to know whether to approach the child directly or the parent first. There are two opinions.
“I’d go to the child first,” says Andrew Fuller, author of Tricky Kids. “Usually a quiet reminder that ‘we don’t do that here’ is enough. Kids have antennae (直觉) for how to behave in different settings.”
He points out bringing it up with the parent first may make them feel careless, which could cause problems. Of course, approaching the child first can bring its own headaches, too.
This is why White recommends that you approach the parents first. Raise your concerns with the parents and ask them to deal with it,” she says.
Asked how to approach a parent in this situation, psychologist Meredith Fuller answers: “Explain your needs as well as stressing the importance of the friendship. Start with something like: ‘I know you’ll think I’m silly but in my house I don’t want…’” What did Stella Bianchi expect the young boy’s mother to do when she talked to him?
| A．Make an apology | B．Come over to stop her |
| C．Blame her own boy | D．Take her own boy away |
What does the author say about dealing with other people’s children?
| A．It’s important not to hurt them in any way |
| B．It’s no use trying to stop their wrongdoing |
| C．It’s advisable to treat them as one’s own kids |
| D．It’s possible for one to get into lots of trouble |
According to professor Naomi White, when one’s kids are criticized, their parents will probably feel ______.
| A．discouraged | B．hurt | C．puzzled | D．affected |
What should one do when seeing other people’s kids misbehave according to Andrew Fuller?
| A．Talk to them directly in a mild way | B．Complain to their parents politely |
| C．Simply leave them alone | D．Punish them lightly |
If you dream in color, you’re not alone: the majority of people today claim to have colorful dreams. But it wasn’t always thus. Research conducted in the early part of the last century consistently found that people reported dreaming most often in black and white.
According to Eva Murzyn at the University of Dundee, there are at least two possible explanations for this strange situation.
The first is the methods used in the researches. The early studies tended to use questionnaires（问卷）, while more modern studies use dream diaries (filled in upon rising in the morning) or so-called “REM-awakening”, which involves interrupting people’s dream-filled periods of sleep to find out what they were dreaming about. People’s memories of their dreams are likely to be less accurate by using the questionnaire approach and they are more likely to reflect their beliefs about the form dreams generally take in an unclear way.
The second explanation has to do with black and white television and film. It’s possible that the sudden increase in black and white film and television during the first half of the last century either affected the form of people’s dreams at that time, or affected their beliefs about the form dreams generally take.
According to Murzyn’s findings, it’s the explanation based on media exposure that carries more weight. She used both questionnaire and diary methods to study the dreams of 30 older (average age 64) and 30 younger people (average age 21).
The methodological technique made no difference to the type of dreams people reported. However, the extremely important thing was that, across both questionnaires and diaries, the older participants (who had had significant early life exposure to black and white media) reported experiencing significantly more black and white dreams over the last ten days than the younger participants (22 per cent vs. 4 per cent).
Another finding was that older participants reported black and white dreams and colorful dreams to be of equal clearness. By contrast, the younger participants reported that the quality of black and white dreams was poorer. This raises the possibility that the younger participants didn’t really have any black and white dreams at all, but were simply regarding poorly remembered dreams as black and white. We learn from the text that ______.
| A．people in the first half of the last century never had colorful dreams |
| B．older people are more likely to have black and white dreams |
| C．the dreams of younger people are always colorful |
| D．people today don’t have white and black dreams any more |
What did Murxyn do to find out the explanations for the colors in people’s dreams?
| A．She applied both questionnaire and diary methods to study people’s dreams. |
| B．She used diary methods to record people’s dreams. |
| C．She chose 60 people to answer her questions about their dreams. |
| D．She woke people up to record the colors of their dreams. |
What does the underlined expression “carry more weight” in paragraph 5 mean?
| A．be heavier | B．be more powerful | C．be more important | D．be more useful |
From Murxyn’s findings we can infer that ______.
| A．both older people and younger people could report colorful dreams clearly |
| B．young people don’t have any black and white dreams in fact |
| C．the color of a person’s dream is decided by one’s age |
| D．it is probably the color of media that affects the color of one’s dream |
Cultural practices, cultural differences, local manners, and mores: traveling the globe can be a behavioral minefield, even when you have the best intentions. Everything from greeting to eating can be an opportunity to do the wrong thing, and not only embarrass yourself, but offend your host countrymen. Look out for the following cultural mistakes and try to avoid them while going abroad.
| 1.Touching Someone |
|
| Where It's Offensive |
Korea, Thailand, China, Europe, the Middle East. |
| What's Offensive |
In Mediterranean countries, if you don’t touch someone's arm when talking to them or if you don't greet them with kisses or a warm embrace, you'll be considered cold. But backslapping someone who isn't a family member or a good friend in Korea will make them uncomfortable. In Thailand, the head is considered sacred--never even pat a child on the he ad. |
| What You Should Do Instead |
Observe what locals are doing and follow suit. In Eastern countries remember that touching and public displays of affection are unacceptable. In places like Qatar and Saudi Arabia, men and women are forbidden from talking, let alone touching. |
| 2.Blowing Your Nose |
|
| Where It's Offensive |
Japan, China, Saudi Arabia, France |
| What's Offensive |
Some cultures find it disgusting to blow your nose in public--especially at the table. The Japanese and Chinese also dislike it even with a handkerchief. |
| What You Should Do Instead |
If traveling through Eastern and Asian countries, don’t use handkerchief but choose disposable（可溶解的）tissues. In France and in Eastern countries, if you're dining and need to clear your nose, excuse yourself and head to the restroom. |
| 3.Talking Over Dinner |
|
| Where It's Offensive |
Africa, Japan, Thailand, China, Finland. |
| What's Offensive |
In some countries, like China, Japan, and some African nations, don't start chatting while everyone else is digging into dinner, because mealtimes are for eating, not talking. Also avoid conversations in places a country might consider sacred or reflective---churches in Europe, temples in Thailand, and saunas in Finland. |
| What You Should Do Instead |
Keep quiet! |
| 4.Removing Your Shoes…or Not |
|
| Where It's Offensive |
Hawaii, the South Pacific, Korea, China, Thailand |
| What's Offensive |
Taking off shoes when arriving at the door of a London dinner party will be regarded as uncivilized, but failing to remove your shoes before entering a home in Asia, Hawaii, or the Pacific Islands will be considered disrespectful. |
| What You Should Do Instead |
If you see a row of shoes at the door, start undoing your laces. If not, keep the shoes on. |
| 5.Knowing Your Right from Your Left |
|
| Where It's Offensive |
India, Morocco, Africa, the Middle East |
| What's Offensive |
Many cultures still prefer to eat using traditional methods--their hands. In these cases, food is often shared, which is why it's important to wash your hands before eating and observe the right-hand-is-for-eating and the left-hand-is-for-other-duties rule. If you eat with your left hand, expect your fellow diners to be offended. |
| What You Should Do Instead |
Left-handed? Attempt to be ambidextrous --- even children who are left-handed in these cultures are taught to eat with their right hand. |
In which country can you greet someone with a kiss?
| A．Thailand | B．England | C．Qatar | D．Hawaii |
If you’re in Japan and you’ve got a bad cold, what should you do at dinner?
| A．Excuse yourself and leave for home. | B．Blow your nose with a handkerchief. |
| C．Use some disposable tissues when needed | D．Go to the restroom. |
Before entering your friend’s house in a foreign country, you’d better ______.
| A．greet the host or hostess first | B．follow others’ behaviors |
| C．remove your shoes first | D．respect their customs |
To enjoy your dinner in India, you have to ______.
| A．avoid talking over dinner | B．keep your shoes on |
| C．share food with others | D．eat with your right hand |
America, has always had people of many different nationalities and languages. The 1990 census (人口普查) indicates that almost 14% of Americans speak a non-English language at home. Yet only 3% reported that they spoke English “not well” or “not at all ”. That means that slightly more than one out of 10 Americans could be considered bilingual. Besides that, many high school and college students---and even some elementary school students---are required to take a foreign language. Actually, a growing number of Americans are coming to appreciate the benefits of using different languages.
Ethnic enclaves (少数民族聚居地) have preserved the language and culture of American immigrants. Some local residents can function quite well in their native language, without having to bother learning English. Regions such as southern Florida and the Southwest have numerous Spanish-speaking neighborhoods. In fact, Spanish speakers---numbering over 17 million---form the largest non-English linguistic group in America. But Chinese, Vietnamese, Italian, Polish and many other ethnic group add to the linguistic flavor of America. Foreign languages are so commonly used in some ethnic neighborhoods that visitors might think they are in another country!
Although some Americans welcome this linguistic and cultural diversity, others have begun to fear that the English language is being threatened. Since the 1980s, the “English Only ” movement has sought to promote legislation (立法) which would establish English as the “official language” and restrict the use of non-English language. However, some groups, including TESOL, the organization for Teachers of English to Speakers of Other language, object to such “language restrictionism”. But so far, 19 states have passed “English Only” legislation, and the topic is the focus of an ongoing debate.
Whether or not English is the official language of the United States, it remains the “language of wider communication”. Nearly everyone recognizes the need to develop the ability in using English in order to do well in America. American also recognize that English is the international language, and people with good English skills can get by in many international settings. On the other hand, in a world growing increasingly smaller, second language skills can be a great favor. They can build cross-cultural bridges and give people an edge in a variety of career field. Indeed, lack of foreign language skill can limit one’s chances for advancement and keep one in a cultural dead-end street. Ethnic groups have preserved their native languages because ______.
| A．their native languages are commonly used in their neighborhoods |
| B．ethnic groups are not allowed to speak English |
| C．ethnic groups can do very well in their native languages |
| D．ethnic groups don’t allow their natives to learn English |
The underlined word “bilingual” in paragraph 1 probably means ______.
| A．being able to speak two languages | B．being able to speak one language |
| C．being able to speak different languages | D．being able to speak many foreign languages |
Which of the following is TRUE about “English Only” movement?
| A．Its purpose was to establish a legislation of restricting the use of English. |
| B．TESOL was in favor of “English Only ” by objecting to “English plus”. |
| C．It was launched because English was being threatened. |
| D．A large majority of American states support the movement. |
What can be the best title of this passage?
| A．The English Only Movement | B．Learn to speak English |
| C．English---an International Language | D．Being Bilingual |
The drug store was closing for the night and Alfred Higgins was about to go home when his new boss approached him.
“Empty your pockets please, Alfred,” Sam Carr demanded in a firm voice.
Alfred pretended to be shocked but he knew he’d been caught. From his coat he withdrew a make-up kit, a lipstick and two tubes of toothpaste.
“I’m disappointed in you, Alfred!” said the little gray-haired man.
“Sorry, sir. Please forgive me. It’s the first time I’ve ever done such a thing,” Alfred lied, hoping to gain the old man’s sympathy.
Mr Carr’s brow furrowed as he reached for the phone, “Do you take me for a fool? Let’s see what the police have to say. But first I’ll call your mother and let her know her son is heading to jail.”
“Do whatever you want,” Alfred shot back, trying to sound big. But deep down he felt like a child. He imagined his mother rushing in, eyes burning with anger, maybe in tears. Yet he wanted her to come quickly before Mr. Carr called the police.
Mr. Carr was surprised when Mrs Higgins finally arrived. She was very calm, quiet and friendly. “Is Alfred in trouble?” she asked.
“He’s been stealing from the store,” the old man coolly replied.
Mrs. Higgins put out her hand and touched Mr. Carr’s arm with great gentleness as if she knew just how he felt. She spoke as if she did not want to cause him any more trouble. “What do you want to do, Mr. Carr?”
The woman’s calm and gentle manner disarmed the once-angry store-owner. “I was going to get a cop. But I don’t want to be cruel. Tell your son not to come back here again, and I’ll let it go.” Then he warmly shook Mrs. Higgins’s hand.
Mrs. Higgins thanked the old man for his kindness, then mother and son left. They walked along the street in silence. When they arrived home his mother simply said, “Go to bed, you fool.”
In his bedroom, Alfred heard his mother in the kitchen. He felt no shame, only pride in his mother’s actions. “She was smooth!” he thought. He went to the kitchen to tell her how great she was, but was shocked by what he saw.
His mother’s face looked frightened, broken. Not the cool, bright face he saw earlier. Her lips moved nervously. She looked very old. There were tears in her eyes.
This picture of his mother made him want to cry. He felt his youth ending. He saw all the troubles he brought her and the deep lines of worry in her grey face. It seemed to him that this was the first time he had ever really seen his mother.Which of the following is true according to the passage?
| A．It was the first time Alfred had stolen anything. |
| B．Alfred tried to sound big to hide his fear. |
| C．Mr. Carr set a trap to catch Alfred stealing. |
| D．Mr. Carr had planned to forgive Alfred from the beginning. |
What does the underlined word “disarmed” probably mean?
| A．annoyed | B．made less angry |
| C．convinced | D．got over |
What was the mother’s attitude toward Alfred?
| A．She felt disappointed with him. |
| B．She was very strict with him. |
| C．She was supportive of him. |
| D．She was afraid of him. |
What impressed Alfred most about his mother at the drugstore was ________.
| A．how angry she was |
| B．that she didn’t cry |
| C．that she was able to save him |
| D．how effectively she handled Mr. Carr |
From the last paragraph, we know that Alfred ________.
| A．was no longer a youth |
| B．felt proud of his mother |
| C．wanted his mother to be happy |
| D．felt guilty and regretful for his deed |
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